I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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