I met the friendliest cop last night
i will never coherently bang her
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
