belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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