dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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