You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
