ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
