When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
