I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she looked like the before picture.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
