and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
