Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
