we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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