i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
