yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Found the puke drawer
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
