More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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