i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
