I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
