Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
