I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
