Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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