I wish I could punch you in the face.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
