I wannas sexs uuuuu
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
im about as happy as oj after his trial
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
