Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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