Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
