need another drink. this is the easiest way
He felt like a one man threesome
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
