she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
