Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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