Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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