shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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