ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
