arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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