Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
