You're completely useless in the revolution.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
