I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize