I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
