you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize