spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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