You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
