This gyro tastes like lonliness
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize