I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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