so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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