I will die if light touches me.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
