There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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