what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
