At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
