hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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