I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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