Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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