I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
