watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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