I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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