Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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