The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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