My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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