Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You are a genius and a whore.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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