i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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