I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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