Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
