waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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