He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
