Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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