The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize