So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
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