I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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