Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
